5th June 2011

I've been awake since about 3:30am. It's now just gone 5 and I've mainly been listening to Marko's breathing and occasional light snoring.

Our chat before bed has left me feeling low. I hate that I've let him down. I hate being selfish. And he's too kind to admit it was a selfish decision.

"You chose what was best for you."

I want it to be best for him too, to get rid of some of this guilt, but I know it's not and I know he won't see it that way anyway.

I fell for him so quickly. Too quickly. Though I don't regret that. But moving in with him would be something I'd regret doing too quickly.

I just hope it all works out in the end.

I love listening to him while he's asleep. I can hear and feel the peacefulness. It's nice knowing he's safe and comfortable and that he's all mine. No one else is enjoying this moment but me.

I love you, Marko.