12th May 2011

I've had a good few days socially.
And today I got an A in both my Maths and Physics papers.

But I'm starting to deflate a little because Marko's grandfather died last night, and it's hitting me hard.

I didn't know him, but it's just one more person I knew of that has died this year already.

And of course unrelated to that it's upsetting me because he is upset about it.

But yeah. I'm just going to name and briefly explain those that have passed away just to get it out of my mind. I don't want to seek people's attention by going 'oh look at me and how many people have died, boohoo!'. I just want to type everything out so it's put down and then maybe I can have some relief from that. I haven't bottled any of this up, but I haven't like.. recorded it down anywhere either. So here goes..

I don't know who died when, it's all a little blurry now. But the most tragic one was Theo Kawala. He went to my primary and secondary school, and was only 16. He drowned in the river after a night out. It took almost a month to find his body. I didn't know him personally. I probably only ever spoke to him once or twice. But I knew his sister. She's beautiful, and so is their younger sister. And I can just feel their pain. I just think about how similar my brother was to him. In age and being a young lad n such. And I can't stand the thought of losing my brother like that.

There was also a girl his age who died from cancer. Her name was Suman (I can't spell it) and in primary school she suffered terribly with cancer. I don't know which type, but you could just see how poorly she was. When I went to secondary school, the last I'd heard about her was that she was recovering. And then suddenly the next thing I heard was she died. That shocked me so much. Her family must be going through hell. They lost their youngest daughter when I was in primary school as well. So that's two daughters who have died from cancer in one family.

Another person who was younger than me who died was a guy called Kieran in my year at school. I don't have a clue how he died though. But that too was a shock.

All the others were adults. Two were parents of my friends. One girl's dad, and another girl's mum. Both to cancer.

Another two were because of swine flu. One was my neighbour and she's left two young children behind. The other was my dad's friend's wife. She was only around 25, and had just fallen pregnant. She was in a coma for around 6 weeks.

Then there was my uncle's bestfriend's mum. Didn't know her at all, but it really upset my uncle as it was a second mum to him so that hurt me a lot. And also his great grandmother died about 3 weeks ago. That one hasn't been so painful to me because she was 102 (or 103?) years old. She sounded like an amazingly strong woman and she had a really good life.

So far that has been the only death I've "accepted" because it seemed natural. The rest just feel like they were all taken way too soon.

I feel like I've missed someone out though....

Either way, I pay my respects to each and every one of them. And anybody else who has died recently.

<3