14th January 2012

Rant time.

I don't understand what weird backwards logic goes through my father's mind.

He used to joke about setting me up an arranged marriage, but my mum and I quickly knocked that one on the head. Now he's all up for me picking my own partner, but if I so much as mention a male name (even if they're a fictional character) or look at a guy in the street, I'll get glared at as if he's silently accusing me of being a whore.

He's found out about me being friends with Luke and already my mum is getting sick of how often he asks her whether Luke is my boyfriend or if he is the sole reason I went to Derby uni. He also doesn't like the thought of me potentially having male flatmates or living with guys from September. But honestly, I've lasted a whole semester and I'm pretty sure I'm doing alright.

How can he seriously expect me to find a decent and loving man if he won't allow me to have any exposure to men? How am I supposed to know the difference between a man who is right for me and one who is not?

I'm glad that I've always gone behind his back. Most of the best friends I've ever had have been male and I don't like to think I could have missed out on such good memories and friendships just because of their gender.

I've also learnt a lot by myself about the world and the people within it which he thinks I'm incapable of doing. He honestly still sees me as his naive little girl who should only worry about crayons and fairies.

I'd love to know exactly what he expects me to do about my future husband and family. He always goes on about them, yet he does everything in his power to stop it from happening.

Good thing I'm not the doormat he expects me to be.