4th May 2012

The fact I'm writing this is just pointing out even worse how easily I turn things around to be about me... But I'm a blogger. I always get urges to blog things. I always need to blog things or write them by hand sometimes. I don't know why, I just need to get this out.

I care so much about James and when I can see something is wrong, I want to know what's up and how I can help, and when it's apparent that I've done something wrong or that I can't help, it makes me sad, and then things get turned around to him trying to cheer me up instead.

It's stupid and selfish and I honestly hate myself for it.

Of course, feeling guilty for upsetting someone or not knowing how to cheer someone up isn't a bad thing in itself, but making that known and making the other person feel the need to cheer you up instead of have themself be cheered up IS wrong and makes things very one sided.

I just wish I knew what to do or say...