Sunday 20 November 2011

20th November 2011

I haven't blogged on here for a long time. I haven't even looked at the blog so I can't remember what the last thing I posted was. I'm just going to do a massive ramble and see where this goes.

I am now at Derby university studying Mathematical and Computer Studies. However, for my second year I am most likely transferring to Computing (although I think it's having a name change to Computer Science).

University has been the best thing to happen to me for so many reasons. One of those reasons is that I have enjoyed my independence and having my own space. Another is that I've thrived and re-discovered an old interest which was a hobby at the time, but may become something more in the future (programming, for those interested). I have also made some awesome friends and had some great times with them.

Moving onto the main reason: James Hunt. When I was waiting for my offer from Derby through clearing, I searched videos about the uni on youtube. James had made a comical student guide and I commented on it, which led to us talking and becoming close. He's on his placement year so not actually studying at the university again until next September.

I unfortunately cheated on Marko with James, and have since got into a relationship with him.

We've been together for 2 months now, and he's just gone back home after spending 2 weeks here with me. I feel really lost now that he's gone, and although I have a lot of work to do and some tidying and laundry and whatnot, I just can't get the motivation to do it because I'm moping.

During that moping I accidentally stumbled across Marko's tumblr again, and read something about what I have supposedly done to him. He says I cheated on him over a month and he begged me to stop every day. I don't know why, but I feel the need to set the record straight. I cheated on him, I told him a day or two later, and I called for a break in the relationship. We were no longer together when I then saw James again and things progressed with him. Therefore, I cheated on him for one day, not an entire month before ending things with him. I also don't appreciate him putting a certain personal detail in his blog about me... but whatever. No point in being petty, is there?

It also states that I begged to keep him in my life. Yes, I did to begin with, because we were good friends and I don't like the thought of losing people in my life. But the way he has put it has made it sound like it was all an act, or done so that I could be horrible to him more. I didn't deliberately hurt him and I didn't enjoy it either. I went from being a good girlfriend and friend in general to his worst nightmare in a mere few days, and that is heart breaking for me. I know what I've done to him which makes it even worse for me. So I know there could be no hope in hell that I'd ever do that to someone deliberately.

Anyway, I suppose I better try do some work as I have to do a presentation in a few days and it's nowhere near finished...